Hit the Hardwood While Driving Through the Lane

Yes, it's time once again to turn 8 percent of your sports attention to the the NBA. Yes, there will again be 82 games played by each team. Being a Pistons fan, the past several seasons have been a real hoot and I expect them to be good again this year. We will miss Ben Wallace's rebounds and defense, but on offense Big Ben is as awkward as Chris Berman doing live coverage of the British Open. Or Ben Wallace doing a post-game interview. Well, the short bus left for Chicago ISO big dollaz. Nazr, welcome. Someone show this man which way is East!

What really makes the NBA for me is the FANtastic trouble its players get into. The NBA has a rich history of arrests. Here's a fun puzzle to help get you ready for the season: match the tall lean man with the act for which he was arrested.

Darrell Armstrong. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Disorderly Intoxication
Mookie Blaylock. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Battery of Female Police Officer
Richard Dumas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Failing to Pay Child Support
Tony Dumas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Marijuana Possession
Joe Forte. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Kidnapping, Rape, Sodomy, and Burglary
Steve Francis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Assault with a Deadly Weapon
Eddie Griffin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Driving While Under the Influence
Darvin Ham. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Animal Cruelty
Vernon Maxwell. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Battery of Wife
Glenn Robinson. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Crack Cocaine Possession
Qyntel Woods. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Assault on Pregnant Woman
Sly Williams. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Marijuana Possession and Unlawful Possession of Firearm

Check the link above for the answers. One of these fine athletes, Eddie Griffin, somehow avoided getting arrested for some big league multitasking during the offseason.

Abed Hassuneh, who is the brother of the victim, said Griffin told him,
"That he was masturbating himself going down that street. That's how the
accident happened because he was not paying attention. He's paying attention to
that video and all of a sudden he's shoveled somebody's car on the top of the
sidewalk."

Who among us hasn't risen above half-mast while driving drunk in the twin cities and thought about flippin' down the LCD and poppin' in a hot dvd? That's just called a young man livin' where I'm from.