I Wanna Gentrify you, Baby

Urban Outfitters and Zipcars
Poetry readings and Martini bars
Luxury lofts with Modern amenities
Sit on my granite countertop sans panties

Starbucks and Cosi
Laptop dancing to the Wi-fi
Sipping lattes with overcaffeinated hotties.
You look all minority and drug infested
Boarded up abandoned body
Homeless people sleeping in your crevices.
Hangin' around with the tall boys and mad dogs well into your 40's
Say hello to hipster neighbors and goodbye to your homies.
Get off the stage dancing in the nude
I'll get you a nice job at the Whole Foods.

I wanna gentrify you
Pump, pump, pump you full of money
Clean up your back alleys
Brighten and whiten you up honey

Don't go to the nightclub with gunshots and thrown punches
We'll wake up early and go to Farmers Markets and Sunday brunches
Turn off your hip-hop and get in touch with my emo.
I'm going to overhaul your kitchen
Hit you on the floor with my hardwood
You turn on my Stainless Steel Appliance
All the young professionals will want to flock
When I put on a condo and penetrate your block
Put out that Newport and light up a Parliament
I'm going to lower your crime and drive up your rent.

Your filthy urban ass needs a renewal

I wanna gentrify you
Pump, pump, pump you full of money
Clean up your back alleys
Brighten and whiten you up honey