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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Check Out The Brains On Her!

"Asia's looks combine delicate Asian features with voluptuous silicone breasts."

This morning I was really jacked up when I fired up the old work computer. I always first click on the Outlook icon and then hit up the Firefox icon which reminds myself that I am at work and as such my first responsibility is to send off personal emails from my work address and THEN surf the internet. One of the unread messages in outlook was from my friend John. The message gave some things to do the next few days, all of which involved drinking but with some other fun event going on too. Tonight at the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse down yar across the Potomac is Dude Fest 2007 . Tonight the DC Public Schools are on Spring break (I started to capitalize "break"-- stoopit!) so I am free from my weekly volunteer tutoring commitment and I plan to celebrate by drinking beer or scotch. Dude Fest sounded just about perfect, but I found out that it's sold out so I'll be probably just drinking scotch at home. Before I found out that it was sold out I went to The Big Lebowski IMDB page to see if there were any characters that I could dress up like with the clothes/wig I have at home. Someday if I get slightly bigger arms, a nice mullet wig, and a repairman jumpsuit and toolbelt I want to dress up like Karl Hungus. While scanning the other male characters I noticed that they had the actress playing Sherry in the 'Logjammin' movie listed--you know, the hot little number who walks out into the living room in a towel...
Bunny (to Karl Hungus): "This is my friend Sherry. She just came over to use the shower."
Sherry( to Karl Hungus): "You must be here to fix the cable."

Sherry is played by a woman named Asia Carrera. I love the 'Logjammin' part of the the movie, so I decided to find out more about this Asia Carrera by clicking on the link. I was first surprised that there was even an IMDB listing for a character with just one line in a movie. After going to her profile page I realized why she had one and how she was able to play the part of Sherry so well. She's a porn star! Kudos to the Cohen brothers for getting an actual porn starlet to play the part of a porn star in a nonexistent porn flick. Asia is credited with participating in 267 films, most of which have really sweet titles. Here are some of them:
- Chock Full of Asians 2
- The Passion of the Christies
- Wicked Fourgy of Whorror
- East Eats West
- Wayward Nurses

They also have a very nice mini biography. Here are some facts about Sherry:
- has IQ of 156. MENSA member
- Japanese father and German mother. ha ha title: World Whore 2; ha ha scene: Battle of the Bulge. Unrelated to her, but good civil war porn title: Red Vag of Courage
- Gave birth to an 8 pound, 10 ounce baby at home, unassisted. That's one limber va jay jay! For some reason I really like that it says 'unassisted', like in a hockey scoring summary...
15:32 Power Play - Brett Hull's wife (2), Assist: Adam Oats

Asia (continent made up of countries including Japan) Carrera (style of German car manufacturer Porshe's 911 model) is now retired. I presume that she is still hot and that if I reenacted the scene in Logjammin with her this afternoon I would get a boner. Eventually she will not be as attractive, but she left current and future masturbaters a tremendous library of inspiration. Thanks!

Ok, recall that there were two things that pleased me this morning and that one of them came from the message in Outlook. Also recall that after I click the Outlook Icon I immediately fire up the internet. The first place I go to is usually this site to see if any of the other authors have decided to write something and post it. This is normally a disappointing part of my morning, but not today! The lovely Dolores, whose BF sent me the Dude Fest email (see how everything is tied together here?), posted a nice steamy fresh one. Dolores, like Asia Carrera and billions of other humans, is female. As she pointed out, she is a tall chesty brunette. She is a champion drinker too.

The demographic makeup of the readers of this site is unknown to me, but if I had to guess I would say that most are males. Who knows how you got here. You might be a pal of mine or one of the other authors. Maybe you googled 'Asia Carrera steamy fresh one'. Whoever you are and however you got here, I would like to welcome you and to formally introduce to you the wonderful lovely Dolores. Her first post is below. Happy logjammin!

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  • At 3:15 PM, Blogger Dolores said…

    Wow - East Eats West is definitely my favorite - how clever! You can tell she's in Mensa (well...if porn stars actually have anything to do w/ naming their movies, which they totally should).

    Thanks for the 'big ups' AC - hope to see you and your lady friend at the bar tonight. We can drink white russians in honor of Dude Fest.

  • At 3:30 PM, Blogger Awful Chief said…

    I'll be trying to adhere to a strict drug regiment to keep my mind limber as well.

  • At 1:07 PM, Anonymous John (bf of Dolores's) said…

    I can't believe you had never heard of Asia Carrera. For shame!


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