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Friday, March 23, 2007

Step Into the Risk Neutral World

One of the many joys of the NCAA tournament for those Americans that attended a college or university having a renowned athletic program already eliminated from the tournament or not even invited to it is being able to set aside hatred for other schools developed through longtime rivalries and just enjoy the wonderful excitement of college basketball. That, and making money betting on these enemy teams.

Last night I stayed up, just like CBS wanted me to, till the end of the Ohio State/Tennessee game. I drank Scotch whiskey and pumped my fist cheering on the big comeback of the normally hated Buckeyes from the twenty point deficit. How sweet it was! I woke up an hour late this morning with a substantial bit more virtual dollars than I went to bed with. This is what sports is all about. Sure, it's better when your team wins. You don't need to win money to enjoy that. But what's so wrong with making money rooting for a rent-a-team? Nothing, I say.

The Edward Norton character in Fight Club explains to the Brad Pitt character "single serving friends". Of course the Pitt character doesn't need this explained to him and cuts him off. Sports gamblers enjoy the same thing. Rooting for a single serving team during the actual game is every bit as exciting as with your old trusty team. When the game is over, you move on with no emotional attachment. The closest thing to this for sexual relationships available is prostitution.

similarities between sports gambling and prostitution:
- you have complete control of who you select to be your partner
- your relationship with that partner is for a predefined period of time coinciding with an event only
- you can experience the same joy with your temporary partner as with your full-time partner during the event
- Everywhere in the United States, if one is illegal the other is illegal (everywhere but NV, where Arnie "the beekeeper" Soloman currently is)
- Both can be addictive

differences between sports gambling and prostitution:
- in prostitution you are interacting with your partner directly
- in prostitution you always get the desired outcome of the event
- in prostitution you have a chance to contract a non-psychological disease by participating in the event
- in prostitution you always feel worse after than before or during the event

The mutual selection, high risk of unintended consequences, and societal norms involved in non-prostitution coitus makes single serving sexual relationships nearly impossible unless you group yourself with individuals such that each of the possible partners represents an equally desired choice.

The creation of such a risk-neutral grouping system is yet to be perfected, although I'm sure every dating site creator intended to make one and reap the monetary benefits.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, so I'm just going to end it and go to a happy hour.

Bon Weekend!

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