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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A Check out my HEMI Exclusive:
An interview with Donyell Marshall


Check out my HEMI is a serious sports blog, and as such we are able to land exclusive interviews with the biggest names in amateur and professional sports. Today I sat down with the star of the Cleveland Cavaliers, Donyell Marshall.

Awful Chief: Donyell, in game one you were only on the floor for ten minutes before taking what would have been the game winning shot. You are known for your three-point shooting prowess, but do you feel like you need more playing time to settle into the game to get into your rhythm before taking a crucial shot like that?

Donyell Marshall: Maannn, these women is awfully nasty.

AC: I hear ya there, old school. But on that shot, did you feel you were as loose as you wanted to be at that point?

DM: And these women keep walking past me.

AC: Oh, I think I get it: 'these women' you speak of, they are a metaphor for your teammates, who are maybe getting more playing time than they should, considering that they will not be called on to take a game-winning shot.

DM: Either way, I'm a pimp for today

AC: Yes, let's talk about how your team has fought back to tie the series. Detroit plays a very physical brand of basketball, with probably the deepest front court in the NBA. Defensively, how have you approached this talented opposition?

DM: Put your booty in the way and shake that...

AC: Donyell, last year it took the Pistons seven games to get past you in the Eastern Conference semi-finals. This year most analysts believe that this series is destined to go seven as well. You have already stated your confidence in your team to defeat the Pistons this season. First, do you feel that this is a better Pistons team without Ben Wallace, and secondly, what makes this a better Cavs team than the one that lost to the Pistons last season?

DM: Move bitch, get out the way!

AC: Well put. Would you say that Larry Hughes not having to deal with the death of his brother has been the biggest improvement over last year?

DM: (silence)

AC: I think many of his critics out there would agree with you. Finally, Donyell, do you think that you'll be ready to drain the shot if you get an open look at the end of game five in Detroit?

DM: You have no idea why they put those great big windows on the sides of buses, do you? To humiliate the people of color who are reduced to riding on them.

AC: I did not know that. Donyell, thank you for sharing your thoughts and insight with us today.

DM: You could fill the Staples Center with what you don't know.

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7 Comments:

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    Correct! Of course it fucking is. It's slightly more fun doing this than simply typing "Donyell Marshall looks eerily similar to Ludacris".

     
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