I should point out that I understand very little Spanish. What I do know I have mostly learned from playing and watching soccer with Spanish speakers. Mano = hand. Chievas=goats. Punta=pussy. Panday-ho=something really bad. The "bollocks" of Spanish. I suppose I should be listening to music as this is kind of like an illiterate person moving his eyes over the words in captions next to the photos in a nudie magazine. Or maybe I should just watch something in English, like football. Speaking of which...
Broncos +230 @ Falcons
Who needs running backs when you have a tightfaced coach?
Dolphins -10 vs. Raiders
I think the Raiders might suck this year.
Ravens +7 @ Giants
Ravens are a "hit-you-in-the-bitch" type team. Brandon Jacobs is going to show up in tight pants.
Texans + 8 @ Colts
What a fucking generic name "Texans" is. BOR-ING! Whoever named the Texans probably has a race horse named "Race Horse".
Titans -3 @ Jaguars
They have to win so that the Oh-Oh Thanksgiving game can happen.
Packers -3.5 vs Bears
Rivalry game. The Lions don't have a rival foe, just the rivalry between hatred and sadness inside every fan.
Eagles -9 @ Bengals
You might think these teams have nothing to do with each other, but one ends in "gles" and the other "gals". Natural rivalry.
Chiefs +200 vs Saints
When a line looks boring, take the moneyline!
Panthers -14 vs Lions
Finally, double digit losses! With this loss I will clinch my bet made before the start of the season that the Lions would win 6 games or fewer.
Vikings +175 @ Buccaneers
Vikings are like Buccaneers but more old school and more heterosexually challenged.
Cardinals -3 @ Seahawks
Steelers -5 vs Chargers
A good game to bet a lot of money on.
Redskins +1.5 vs Cowboys
Lots of Cowboys fans in DC. Why? They hate their fathers, who deserted their families.
Bills -5 vs Browns
Why are the Browns in prime time so often? Oh yeah, BQ's starting now...