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Saturday, November 15, 2008

No Comprende

One thing I don't understand at all is how Mexican soccer telecasts do not have the score printed constantly on the screen during the game, yet display the team abbreviations, the half the game is in, and the minutes played along with the network symbol. I am currently watching Monterrey vs UNAM (United Nations of American Mexico). In the top left of my screen it says T (for Telemundo) MON PUM (I think UNAM nickname is Pumas) and below it says 1T (1st half) and the minutes played in the half. The score is 2-0 Monterrey but there is no way of knowing this from the screen. If you're reading this and you understand why the score is extraneous information, explain in the comments.
I should point out that I understand very little Spanish. What I do know I have mostly learned from playing and watching soccer with Spanish speakers. Mano = hand. Chievas=goats. Punta=pussy. Panday-ho=something really bad. The "bollocks" of Spanish. I suppose I should be listening to music as this is kind of like an illiterate person moving his eyes over the words in captions next to the photos in a nudie magazine. Or maybe I should just watch something in English, like football. Speaking of which...

Broncos +230 @ Falcons
Who needs running backs when you have a tightfaced coach?

Dolphins -10 vs. Raiders
I think the Raiders might suck this year.

Ravens +7 @ Giants
Ravens are a "hit-you-in-the-bitch" type team. Brandon Jacobs is going to show up in tight pants.

Texans + 8 @ Colts
What a fucking generic name "Texans" is. BOR-ING! Whoever named the Texans probably has a race horse named "Race Horse".

Titans -3 @ Jaguars
They have to win so that the Oh-Oh Thanksgiving game can happen.

Packers -3.5 vs Bears
Rivalry game. The Lions don't have a rival foe, just the rivalry between hatred and sadness inside every fan.

Eagles -9 @ Bengals
You might think these teams have nothing to do with each other, but one ends in "gles" and the other "gals". Natural rivalry.

Chiefs +200 vs Saints
When a line looks boring, take the moneyline!

Panthers -14 vs Lions
Finally, double digit losses! With this loss I will clinch my bet made before the start of the season that the Lions would win 6 games or fewer.

Vikings +175 @ Buccaneers
Vikings are like Buccaneers but more old school and more heterosexually challenged.

Cardinals -3 @ Seahawks
Beak-on-beak action

Steelers -5 vs Chargers
A good game to bet a lot of money on.

Redskins +1.5 vs Cowboys
Lots of Cowboys fans in DC. Why? They hate their fathers, who deserted their families.

Bills -5 vs Browns
Why are the Browns in prime time so often? Oh yeah, BQ's starting now...

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