San Francisco is to Salt Lake City as a cock ring is to a Christian love pack

San Francisco is to Salt Lake City as a cock ring is to a Christian love pack

The photo above was taken with my phone in mens room of a bar on or near Union Street. I attempted to purchase one (who would not want a glow in the dark schlong accessory for just seventy-five cents?), but the novelty machine ate my quarters. I had to go ask the bartender for a refund. He gave me a high-five for being dirty, as well as my seventy-five cents back.

The linked photo below, to be fair, has nothing to do with the SLC. Don't let the satin sheet and flower petals fool you, there is no vibrator in there. No handcuffs. Not even a broken condom so that you can pretend like you're having casual sex while knowing that you are actually intending for conception, just as your priest tells you God wants.

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It's far more racy than anything you would ever find in Utah's capital city.