There's Something Happening Here

There's Something Happening Here

(photo courtesy of Marvel, Universal Pictures, via Wikipedia)

(Do you) Ever wonder what it would be like to undergo a rapid physical transformation like Dr. Bruce Banner turning into the (incredible) Hulk? Just imagine what it would be like to go from your eight-year-old body into your eighteen-year-old body in a minute or two. As an exercise, meditate on that thought for a bit. Here's an incantation to go along with it.

Dang man, shit, fuckin' A.

The past several posts I am at fault for here have very little to do with the sports world. Cock rings, Marmots Mormons, pretend cocaine hangovers? Yes. Sports? Not so much.

You see, I was stuck in the comfortable Summer rut that we all go through. Work. Go home. Drink. Eat stuff. Drink. Sometimes fuck other people. Watch baseball. Shit, shower, shave, and start the whole fucking thing over. Nothing wrong with that kind of rut. Then I went on the trip for work to Salt Lake City and then the Bay Area, and now that I'm back everything feels different. I'm going through changes.



The Tigers have been either in an extended slump or in the middle of an all-out tailspin. We'll find out what exactly it is in a month. And I'm concerned, sort of. But goodness, folks, take a deep whiff. You smell that? Football season's a-comin'. Dude, tomorrow's already the tenth. Far out, I know, but just think about this: three weeks from today LSU plays Mississippi State at 8PM ET on ESPN. If you think I won't be doing all I can to not break the seventh commandment, you are crazy. After that there are televised games Friday, Saturday, Monday, and then blammo, the NFL starts Thursday.

Dang man, shit, fuckin' A.

Between now and then, we have a fine assortment of distractions. The NFL preseason is in full swing. A few star players will be injured in utterly meaningless games. The PGA tournament is this weekend. The hits to the links to the wild card standings on the standings page is going up every day. Hopefully the Tigers will remain at the top of that list or off the list entirely. Did I mention that the NFL preseason is going on? Seriously, the Lions are playing the Bengals tonight! At Ford Field!

[start digression]
This year a nickname for Ford Field needs to be established. I kind of like "The Pinto" or"The Edsel", but Ford Field is an unbelievably great venue. It's breathtaking when you walk in there for the first time. The nickname needs to reflect that it's actually a great facility, but with extremely filthy goings-on inside it, like a golden outhouse or something. Can you think of a Ford vehicle with a beautiful exterior that was widely known to have mechanical problems on a grand scale? The Merkur, maybe? The Corsair? Any ideas? Leave them in the comments.
[end digression]

Also, in case you didn't know this about me, I am an unabashed soccer freak. In the past year I have played in three leagues with games on the weekends and I generally play pick-up games on the National Mall two to three times per week, even during heat advisories. I pay extra to get Goal TV and Fox Soccer Channel. I kind of sort of want to go to the DC United vs The David Beckhams tonight at RFK. But fuck that, tickets are going for $45+, he might not play, it will be on TV, and hopefully the Lions will be on the NFL Network. This weekend is the start of the English Premier League. I may get up and go to a soccer bar in town (yes, they do exist) to watch the 7:40AM game between Spurs and Sunderland, hopefully in the Arsenal third jersey I pre-ordered.

So, anyway, I have a lot of feelings about the coming season of greatness (Michigan, Tigers, and Arsenal, hopefully), and not so greatness (Lions, surely). Go Blue, and Goooo Ulrich's!