An Alcoholic Or Just Really Thirsty?

Glass 15% empty

At approximately 3PM yesterday I phoned my friend Dave at the corner of L & 17th to check on some scores. I had just been dropped off by a soccer teammate. I was planning on heading home to shower and watch the stupid Redskins game. Having some v-chips tied to the outcome of the Giants game I wanted to get a score in case it was actually a close game. Sure enough, they were down 7-10 to the Texans in the 4th quarter. I decided to head to Mackey's down L St a few blocks from where I was. I wasn't even sure the place would be open, but it was and I was greeted by a cute bartender who asked me if I wanted a $2.50 Coors Light and/or 25 cent wings. Yes and Yes! They had all the games on and their tv setup was first rate. Luckily the Giants scored a touchdown and held on to defeat the Texans, so I turned my attention to the Lions game. I was in a weird position: The Lions losing would be good for my v-chip count and a win at this point would only hurt their draft position, but I didn't have a whole lot riding on them losing and it was pretty amazing to see the brave men in Honolulu blue crushing a team that came in 5-2 and clearly looked like it would make the playoffs. I was starting Ron Mexico at QB though and felt kind of bad for the Falcons fan next to me--how embarrassing for him! I explained to the guy that I was a Lions fan so I hated them. With the Lions up 30-14 in the last few minutes I joined the cheering for Vick to get them a meaningless touchdown. This did not happen. Instead, Vick threw an interception costing me 2 fantasy points.

From Roy Williams:

"If Kevin Jones rushes for 100 yards and a receiver gets 100 yards, there's no one in the country that can beat us."

You here that, Buckeyes? That's indaface!

By the end of the Lions game I had polished off 20 wings and several of the "coldest tasting beers in the world". Coors Light has to be the most watery beer around, and I was actually pretty dehydrated after my game earlier so they were going down way too easily. Being in favor of the Chargers winning, I stuck around for the 4 PM games and continued rehydrating myself. I was there by myself, but it was a good bar to be rolling 1 deep. There were two dudes at the bar who had wagers on several of the games so we had lots of good discussion, especially about the Pats/Colts game. The cute bartender magically became hotter and hotter as the day went on. Around the start of the fourth quarter I began to feel a little bit ashamed of the number of beers I had had, by myself, in a relatively short amount of time.
"I think I'll just have a water. And the check."
"You ok?"
"Yeah, and that's the scary thing."
"I know, I've got you down for 9, and I bought you 2 more."
"Yikes."
"You're not driving home or anything, are you?"
"Nah, I'm walking and it's just a few blocks away."
"You sure you're ok?"
"Oh yeah."
I was definitely intoxicated, but I really wasn't in bad shape at all and this disturbed me. I walked home, called some friends, checked email (unfortunately the ex ambushed me on gmail...it might be time to block her), then went to Whole Foods and picked up a frozen pizza...and a six-pack. I had a couple during the Sunday night game, then went to bed around midnight.

This morning I woke up without any trace of a hangover after consuming 13 beers the previous day. Does this make me a superhero or a super alcoholic or both?

Alcoholic:
-had at least ten drinks on each of Friday, Saturday, and Sunday
-probably spent a good $150 just on alcohol over those three days
-went to bar alone Sunday and had a lot more than a couple

Just Thirsty:
-I never got out of hand at the bar. always in good spirits and no stumbling or insulting comments to others
-I didn't get wasted at home watching Sunday night game, even when I had more than enough liquor and beer to accomplish this.
-I woke up hungover on Sunday, but played soccer and played it well. If it was an English Premier League game, I would have earned 9 fantasy points and probably more because of bonus points for the best players in the match.
-The Awful Chief NEVER gets whisky dick!

I guess I'm just a really thirsty alcoholic. It would probably be good for me to take a night off, but Stoney's is opening tonight and I'm extremely excited about a sports bar in my neighborhood and would very much like to establish a rapport with the employees as soon as possible, as I plan on putting their kids through college with my patronage. Then Tuesday is wing night. Then Wednesday is like a Friday since I get Thursday and Friday off. What's a boy to do? I guess there will be plenty of time to not drink when I'm dead...of liver failure.