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Monday, January 29, 2007

This isn't a shopping mart. It's a club.

Go home and change your shirt and maybe you can get in.

Despite what the KSK writers seem to think, not everyone was introduced to their blog through Deadspin. I was first tipped to its existence by another owner in my fantasy league, who alerted us of what I think was the first "Ten Yards of Awkwardness" interview, which was with Bears backup and last Michigan QB to win at Pasadena, Brian Griese. Immediately, KSK became the first site I went to every day at work. I check back for new postings at least twenty times in an average work day. After about a month of regular reading I began to submit comments to their postings. Eventually they required that each commenter register with Blogger. Then work took away personal email and this blog was born.

Along the way I read that the KSK writers came together from the Deadspin commenter group. I have grown to really enjoy Deadspin. While nowhere near as humorous as KSK, Deadspin is a sports news site with sharp wit well worth checking throughout the work day. Postings are short and a new one seems to appear every fifteen minutes, making it the perfect distraction. Just like with KSK, I eventually felt the strange need to share my thoughts in their comments section. Unlike most blogs, Deadspin does not just let anyone post a comment.
You appear to be a new user. We only allow in a commenter if the debut contribution is interesting, substantial or highly amusing. Polish up your words and confirm your password, above. Your comment will only appear once (or if) you're added to the membership list.
The first time I read this I was pretty sure the Deadspin high priest would let me join the congregation based on the high frequency of the unamusing, unsubstantial, and uninteresting comments posted. I wasn't about to polish my turd when it was destined to float amongst the collection of cocaine, diamond rings, and fecal matter in the Deadspin sewer.

Comment failed to post. Ok, damn, aaaight. So I started polishing up my shit. No luck. Even when I tried to correct and make fun of a commenter for saying
Pink Floyd's favorite team is Arsenal, so my favorite team is Arsenal. That's all I have to say on this topic.
my comment failed to post. I tried getting sneaky, attempting to send in a comment with a different user name (same IP address, however). Today I read on Deadspin that Barbaro had died. Currently, there are 430 comments posted, most of which are very clever. Many of the Deadspin commenters are consistently great. But come on, how many friggin' comments is it going to take before someone makes a joke referencing the song Dead Horse by Guns N' Roses? I attempted to submit one with a new login name, this one named "end user", and after about an hour it still says "sending comment..."

So at this point I have realized that
(a) Despite being a real website with paid employees, the comment function does not work properly for new commenters.
(b) Comments I have submitted have been so shitty that by posting them, Deadspin is better off blocking them than to post them and risk that it would cease to be a popular website. My turds are so big and smelly that they would just clog up the series of tubes. This is certainly a possibility.

If (a) is true and my frustration is due to a technical issue, every time I submit a comment, fine.

If (b) is true, fine also.

Either way, I'm done trying. I will no longer attempt to crash your party. While the Deadspin model is an effective means for keeping out undesirables, it certainly not the only one. KSK's board somehow stays at a high level without any registration. How? Through intimidatation!
While a great number of my comments surely have not amused anyone, I at least put in an effort to make them worth a chuckle, most of the time in the context of the thread, knowing that if they stink, they will just sit out there for everyone to smell and hopefully make fun of to discourage further attempts of bringing weak stuff into the lane. Not in Mr. Mohammed's neighborhood!

Deadspin, I understand that you have to have some kind of restriction on comments or they would number in the thousands most of the time, but if you are going to put a velvet rope between the comments section and the everyday readers and potential popgloss shoppers, please give the red card when existing commenters decide to Randy Moss one.

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