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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Winter X 11 Anthem

"Extreme" + "Sports" > Words

You've been waiting almost a whole year for the return of the Winter X Games. I have to say, that's an extremely long time, but on Thursday the wait is finally over. In honor of this annual fun event, I give you a short rap that I hope is discovered by The ESPN, and will then give me, you know, a little something for the effort.

Nothing is out of bounds
No chute is too extreme
Lift me up to your peak
Gonna melt your snow and make you scream
My milk run's going to make you stand and gape
Work you so hard, turn your straight skis to shaped
When I'm on your run, you'll feel it when I plant my pole
You'll yell out so loud they'll call the ski patrol
I'll wax up and traverse to your backside I will glide
Then make a face plant in your mogul on the other side
Have fun on the blue squares and black diamonds bros
I'll be on the brown stars and pink tacos

Terrain park ho's making money turning pro
Run their show getting dumped on with snow
Turning filthy tricks off your jumps
Wax up your rails and grind on your stumps
Chump Winter athletes gonna land on their rumps
When I come with speed and launch into air
Your panities get so wet they freeze to the chair
Ask on the lift and I'll take off my mask
Unzip my snow pants for you to take a hit off my flask

When I come through laying big fresh tracks
Plowing through your tight crevace
It might hurt for a second so just try to relax
I'll be sure to take off my glove
When I snap-turn stop and spray you with love
Whether I'm schussing down your fall lines or busting a heli
I'm bringing sexy to your back country

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