Hey University of Michigan: Your hiring of Russell Crowe for head fooball coach was really, really racist.

Hey University of Michigan: Your hiring of Russell Crowe for head fooball coach was really, really racist.

That Russell Crowe hiring sure was a racy move by the University of Michigan. Oh, did I say "racy"? Sorry. I meant racist.

Now that several days have passed since it became known that Russell Crowe would become the successor to Lloyd Carr, supporters of Michigan Football should have had time to realize one fact about the university: it is racist. And we're not just talking about a smidgen of racism. It's really, really racist. If The University of Michigan were a mammal, it would be a mammal infected with rabies, except instead of rabies it would be racism. And I don't know much, but I do know this: You don't want your university to be of the rabid-with-racism variety.

Russell Crowe is a white Australian. Hello!?!? What's up with that? You call that diversity? I'll bet his criminal ancestors were forced to move to Australia because they went around being intolerant towards people of other ethnicities. What's your next move, Bill Martin? Invading Poland?

Despite the availability of minority coaches with more experience, Russell Crowe was hired because he's white. Did the University of Michigan really think that there wouldn't be an uproar over them not even interviewing Denzel Washington? It's only common knowledge across the world that he's a great head coach. Just look what he did to the Titans. I remember, and so do you. Michigan must have been too busy hating black people to remember the Titans. And Bill Martin, you can just shut your face about Russell Crowe being a "Michigan man". You want a "Michigan man"? I'll give you a Michigan man. One man, three names, three syllables: James. Earl. Jones.

It's time for the university president, Mary-Joe Fernandez, to step up to the plate and hit this fastball of racism out of the park.