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Friday, September 12, 2008

Challenge Joined

When I first heard that this blog was having an NFL Pick 'em contest for its guest contributors with the winner getting a Drew Stanton jersey, I immediately contacted to have them e-mail me a password reminder so that I could log-in and participate. Then Awful Chief informed me that simply leaving my picks in the comments section wasn't going to cut it and that I would have to write whole posts consisting of at least multiple paragraphs on a weekly basis in order to qualify. The Awful Chief drives a hard bargain.

The thing is, I really want that jersey. Stanton is the namesake of one of my fantasy football teams and as the Lions backup quarterback, he occupies what is traditionally one of the most glorified positions in all of Detroit sports. Unfortunately, with the exception of large pizzas and cigarettes, I rarely finish what I start so the chances of me keeping this up over the next 16 weeks are slim. This is probably just as well because I have absolutely no faith that Dr. Blackstones will follow through on his pledge to pony up a Stanton jersey.

"We Want Stanton" Team Logo in my Yahoo! Fantasy Football League

But enough with the dillying and the dallying. Here are my picks:

GB, KC, Tennessee, NO, Carolina, NYG, Jacksonville, Atlanta, Seattle, Miami, NYJ, San Diego, Pittsburgh, Dallas, Minnesota, Baltimore

You'll notice that I didn't bother to justify my picks or make any humorous comments about the matchups or my fellow bloggers' picks. I apologize to those of you disappointed by my brevity. Frankly, there is only one game that I'd be excited about gambling on this weekend and it involves amateurs.

Last I checked, the University of Southern California is favored by 11.5 points over The Ohio State University. Snatch lacquer on a cracker, that is one tasty line! The safe bet, of course, is to take USC -11.5 at home against TOSU playing without star running back Chris "Beanie" Wells. But half the fun of gambling is that it makes watching the games more exciting and after watching TOSU struggle last week against (just) Ohio University I'm almost certain that the cover will be safely in hand by halftime. Some sportsbooks, however, are offering +1200 odds on USC -29.5, which should remain compelling well into the 4th quarter.

I believe in diversifying risk, so my recommendation to those of you reading this in Las Vegas is to head down to your favorite sportsbook and place separate bets on both the straight cover and the 12/1 payday. If both come through, you'll have enough to buy your own Drew Stanton jersey and a game-used crutch to complete the ensemble. And if TOSU scores a late touchdown to reduce the final margin of victory to 28, at least you'll have broken even and had a great time watching the game.

Wow, that was multiple paragraphs, like, multiple times! Don't expect this kind of production out of me every week. If there was a fantasy blogging league I'd obviously have a little orange flag next to my name right now but the fantasy analysis on my player page would recommend keeping me on the bench in all but the deepest leagues.


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