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Monday, November 27, 2006

The Tradition Continues
Notre Dame Slaughtered In Meaningful Game Again

Notre Dame: not git'n-r-dun for Jesus

Notre Dame was manhandled by USC for the fifth straight year, making the rematch against the Buckeyes in Arizona this coming January a real long shot. All hope now lies with UCLA, which like Notre Dame, sucks at football. My advice would be to tell every hard luck sports gambler you know to bet the farm on USC money line, if it is even offered. That is our only shot.

If you are the kind of guy or gal that likes to occasionally put a little action out there on amateur athletics, hype surrounding Notre Dame has probably led you to either bet for or against them at least once. I certainly have. I grew up just outside of South Bend, on the good side of the state line. I remember the great Notre Dame teams of the late 80's and early 90's. I wish I didn't. For some reason I thought they had a chance against USC Saturday night. After doing a little bit of research on College Football Data Warehouse I found out just how shitty the Irish have been lately.

1994 - Present

Bowl Wins: 0
Seasons with fewer than 3 losses: 0
Wins vs teams finishing in AP top ten: 2

One of those wins was against Michigan in 2004 and the other was against Washington State in 2002. Both of those teams finished #9 in the final AP poll. There are all kinds of stats that would further suggest to you that the Irish are fucking dead, but I think these really sum it up quite well. When Notre Dame is bowl eligible, it is because of beating service academies and other shitty teams like Stanford. Then their national following lands them a bowl game against a team that they have no business being on the same field with, like Ohio State last year. This simple formula is certainly lucrative for them, and it does not look like they will go away from it. So remember, there are enough dumb asses out there that think Notre Dame will win their bowl game this year for there be good odds on betting against them. They're going to lose. This is the New Notre Dame. I just hope Boise State is the one to do it to them.

Here is what I would like to see happen to Notre Dame:
Team continues to have shitty seasons ending with an embarrassing loss in a bowl game =>
Little kids decide that Notre Dame football sucks =>
Average Age of Notre Dame fans steadily increases =>
National television contract is not renewed =>
RESULT: Notre Dame is a poor and shitty football team that has to join the MAC

Hopefully this will happen in my lifetime, preferably in the next 40 years so I might still be alive to watch their smug asses crumble and live in college football squalor in my twilight years.

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