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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

December 26th-30th:
the 17th, 19th, and 20th birthdays of the calender year



I'm making my lunch!

Christmas, like the years of the Lions being a mediocre football team, is a distant memory. I'm back strapped into the freedom factory straight from a 7AM flight from Southwest Florida International Airport. I'm not exactly sure of what to do with myself as I can't really remember what I was working on before I left. Few people are here today anyway and they appear to be doing very little work as well, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. All I know is that right now I may want to have sex more than any other time in my life and there is no chance of it happening.

With that warm fuzzy little ball of information out of the way, I want you to turn your attention to the two photos here. Both are characters from one of my favorite movies, (not my favorite movie) Wild at Heart. This may be the easiest David Lynch movie to follow, that I've seen at least, but it's still pretty disturbing and fun throughout. But remember how I wrote that the script in Road House is really just there to provide a forum for presenting the amazing lines and shirtless Swayze? Well, I hate to compare Road House to Wild at Heart, but watching it you get the feeling that everything started with the wonderful assortment of bizarre characters and the story was created to connect them. I know that the movie was based on the Barry Gifford (great fucking name!) book, so he would be the guy responsible. I really should read that book. Maybe I'll go to the library this week!

Ok, back to these two characters. The above photo is frm maybe my favorite 10 or so seconds in any movie. Cousin Dell (aka "jingle" Dell) is standing in front of a table with his hands jammed into what appears to be close to 100 sandwiches in the middle of the night, say 4AM. Behind him, his mother stands in curlers and asks in a calm yet concerned voice what he is doing. To this Dell responds by lifting his hands from the sandwiches, takes a tense breath while still facing forward, and explodes by pounding both fists onto the table and a quarter second after the pound yells out in a very startling way
"I'm making my lunch!"
Dell is played by Crispin Glover, who you may remember as Marty McFly in Back to the Future. This is Glover's only line in the movie. Here is what we know about Cousin Dell:
  • Obsessed with Christmas. At one point he is shown in a dirty Santa Claus costume led by police. Dell is shown writhing on the floor crying because it is July, the furthest month from Christmas.
  • Thinks that Aliens wearing black rubber gloves are trying to destroy the true spirit of Christmas. Dell is shown on the floor poking in the direction of a black rubber glove with a ruler or something.
  • Puts cockroaches down his underwear to crawl around on his anus. I can't remember why he does this...I better watch the movie immediately after work (Who wants to come over and watch it with me? Anybody? No? Ok then, I'll just light some candles and make it all special just for me).


Thank you Mr. Reindeer!

Mr. Reindeer is the leader of an organized crime group. He's played by William Morgan Shepherd. When someone has a "problem" that they would like to have Mr. Reindeer help solve, a silver dollar must be furnished by that someone to Mr. Reindeer's residence, along with the particulars. In one scene Mr Reindeer answers a phone call from someone with a couple problems while taking a crap. There is an attractive woman in the bathroom with him, as I remember. In fact, Mr. Reindeer is never shown without being flanked by one or more attractive women.

Mr Reindeer is a fabulous character, but it should be obvious to you why I have highlighted him along with "jingle" Dell--HO HO HO!. There are probably a dozen or so great characters in Wild at Heart I have not mentioned, so I haven't ruined it for you if you haven't seen it. If you would like to state your favorite scene in Wild at Heart, please do so in the comments section.

Fun Wild at Heart Fact:
Ever wonder how they got an actress to play Lula's mother that looks so much like Lula? She is Laura Dern's real life mother!

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1 Comments:

  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger Michael said…

    SIR,
    I think we would be remiss if we did not mention the inimitable Bobby Peiroux, masterfully played by Willem Dafoe. As far as good scenes are concerned, this movie has no short supply, and I would like to add the intimate moment between Laura Dern's character (Lula) and Bobby (in which he is attempting to get her to elicit a certain coitally-related demand)

    "Someday I will, but right now I gotta go"

     

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