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Monday, January 08, 2007

Tony Romo Is Overrated

Notice how I didn't do something funny like changing Romo's last name to "homo" or "slomo"? That's because if I had done that it wouldn't have been funny, but instead retarded. Last name jokes get old real quick and I should know with an easily mockable last name like Battleship.

Something else that got old a long time ago was the hype over Tony Romo. He had a great first six games going 5-1 and then tanked over the last five going 1-4. That's as much meaningful analysis as I'll provide on Romo because, again, its getting old.

I'm more interested in focusing on meaningless analysis because it involves the Lions. All that you need to know about Romo is that he led his team to a home loss against the Lions.

In the Matt Millen era, now six years in the books, only 18 quarterbacks have lost to the Lions. I've separated them based on race for no reason whatsoever:

Anthony Wright, Jeff Blake, Aaron Brooks, Michael Vick (twice), and Quincy Carter.

Trent Dilfer, Kurt Warner (twice), John Navarre, Todd Bouman, Craig Hutchinson (twice), Chris Chandler (twice), Rex Grossman, David Carr, Brett Favre (twice), Marc Bulger, J.P. Losman, Rick Mirer, and Tony Romo (I know that Michael Irvin has an alternative theory about Romo's ancestry but despite my overwhelming respect for Irvin's intellect I'm listing Romo among the white QBs).

Now then, what can we extrapolate based on these findings? I would suggest that there are four types of quarterbacks that you will find here.

1) The shitty type: Wright, Carter, Navarre, Bouman, Mirer, and Hutchinson.

2) The mediocre and over-the-hill type: Brooks, Blake, Chandler and Dilfer.

3) The great but over-the-hill type: Favre and Warner (who actually went 4-11 in the loss that Marc Bulger started).

4) The jury-is-still-out-on type: Romo, Vick, Bulger, Grosman, Carr, and Losman.

The point that I'm trying to drive home has nothing to do with Tony Romo. Actually, I was hoping to draw you in so that I could talk about how much the Lions suck without you giving up on my blog entry. If you are disappointed, just walk it out like the lyrical artist Unk counsels.

Its easy to know and acknowledge that the Lions suck. All you have to do is watch a game or catch SportsCenter on an autumn Sunday evening. It is more important to understand how badly the Lions suck.

The level of suckiness that the Lions have achieved under Millen's watch is legendary. They have the 3rd-worst six-year record of any team in NFL history. Both of those franchises (Tampa Bay and Buffalo) have had vastly more success in the playoffs than the Lions since they came into the NFL.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one of these "Fire Millen" cats who thinks that getting rid of Millen will fix everything. In fact, I don't think that firing Millen will fix anything.

The problem is with ownership. Putting Bill Ford Jr. back in charge of the team won't fix anything. See what it did to the Ford Motor Company (FMC) when little Willy gave up his day-to-day oversight of the Lions (when Millen was hired) and decided to focus his energies on FMC.

Ugh. Well, The Battleship won't be nearly as Lions-focused as this from now on, but I wanted to keep things real for my first post on this esteemed blog.

Go Big 10!



  • At 8:47 AM, Blogger Awful Chief said…

    I think an analysis should be done to determine whether or not the Lions discriminate against black qb's by choosing to defeat a greater proportion of them than their white brethren. If they do, the state should seize the team and distribute it to black quarterbacks around the country.

  • At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lets not forget, the lions have themselves been responsible for ruining the careers of several once-promising black qbs, Andre Ware, Charlie Batch and Rodney Peete come to mind. I think given the disproportionate carrer-ruining of black qbs relative to the population of qbs in general, an affirmative action program is necessary. How, you ask, would this program be implemented? The Lions, may in thier analysis determine that say, Troy Smith or Chris Leak should be thier first round pick, based on the merits of their on-field performances. But, in order to remediate the deep-seeded, stuctural inequalites perpetuated by the franchise, the Lions would instead be forced to take Brady Quinn.

  • At 9:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Quarterbacks, black or white, would do well to avoid being drafted by the Lions.


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