What Had Happened Was...

If you are a new reader or may not remember, my primary interests in life are sports, girls, and alcohol. Most of the subjects I write about have something to do with at least one of these three things. For the math or philosophy majors out there, you probably remember that the upside-down "U" is the symbol for intersection. A "U" with a vertical line through the middle and then rotated 90 degrees is the symbol for being an element of a set. You probably also remember Venn diagrams.


Please let me know if I start writing often about subjects for which their intersection with these three sets of topics is the null set. Here is an example of something that I would like to avoid:

Christmas was super awesome! I got an ipod and my Mom cooked a delicious dinner.

For this reason I will not recount my LA trip in its entirety. Most of it, however, fits into multiple intersections of the big 3.

working out in The Sports Club LA: sports, girls
-I stayed with an extremely wealthy family friend in Newport Beach on the 30th. On NYE day I went as a guest to this place. The curbside valet parking area had several Ferraris in it. The place was unbelievable. HD LCD tv's on each of the treadmills. I watched the Lions humiliate the Cowboys while running. The locker room was like in a ritzy golf club, only with more tv's. The women working out were very distracting, unlike most of the frumpy gunty gals in my gym.

new years eve in Santa Monica: alcohol, girls
-My good pal Anthony, aka Ankwan aka Anfernee, aka Bone, lives in Santa Monica and hosted a fantastic party at his apartment on NYE. Several of my close friends were out for this event. At around 9 we all walked a block from his place to a nice little bar, where we had a table reserved. We had multiple bottles of Stoli and mixed it with all the usuals and sometimes nothing. There was no dress code, but I decided to wear a pretty stylish black button down shirt. I won't say the designer, but Jackie Aprile, Jr. would have proudly worn it. As noted by a pal of mine, and possible future contributor, the alcohol led me to unbutton the second button, button it back up, and unbutton it again: "You know, a lotta guys wouldn'ta reversed that."
This combination of haute fashion and alcohol transformed me from man to sexy drunk man. At least one female was impressed. I danced awkwardly, drank, and made out with her a lot at the bar. Both of our sets of friends left us at the bar as it looked like we were both ready to experience the ultimate. Unfortunately, my accomodations for the night were the cushions of Ankwantomino's couch. Hers were the pullout couch in a hotel room shared by her and four of her friends. So instead of a happy ending to the night I gave her $10 to take a cab to her hotel and walked to the apartment. Great night though. I also received the following text message from an unknown number at 12:39AM:

Off the wagon. Let's meet at the 40 yard lines tomorrow for our make out session.

I later learned that this was sent by the roommate of a friend of mine, whom I have not met but must be a pretty great young lady. I also received a "Happy New Years from a very drunk [first name of awful ex-girlfriend]" text message. Yuck.

Rose Bowl: sports, alcohol, girls
The game really sucked. It went from being painfully boring to just painful. Drinking and walking around before the game was fun though. The girl from the bar was in my section right by the exit tunnel so I chatted with her at halftime. Amazingly, she seemed less hot and at least five years older than I remembered her. How about that! The USC cheerleaders are stunning. The Michigan cheerleaders were, um, less stunning...and smarter!

Ok, I need to start doing work so that I don't get fired. I do modeling. I'm not a model, I just build them.