For the love of animals

Many thanks to Dolores, the Battleship, and others who made my thirtieth birthday a special one. As a fan of cougars, as well as the fucking pathetic Lions, I was extremely excited when some of the group at my table spotted the beauty in the above photo prowling about. A classic cougar. Just look at the animal print coat. Lots of jewelry, make-up, and puffy hair. The habitat was a bar populated by clearly underage students, probably from GW. She no doubt made quick work of her prey after luring them in with the free Zippos she was giving out to them.

While I prefer to just appreciate the beauty and maturity of cougars in their natural habitat like this from afar, I had to get a photo to preserve the precious memory. Maintaining a safe distance, I followed her around the bar with my flashless cell phone camera. Her nocturnal nature made it difficult to get a clear shot, as she did not stay still in a well-lit area for long. Alas, my chances of capturing the memory of this glorious creature roaming in the wild on camera looked slim.

Dolores to the rescue!

Dolores had been observing my futile, flaccid, flippity-flappity attempts and decided that it was time to go to work and get the job done. She boldly walked right up to the cougar and told her that it was my birthday and that I thought she was really cute and then asked if she could take our picture. The cougar appeared startled and confused at first, thinking she was to take a picture of us, but then understood and went from confused to the magical cougar pose seen above. Dolores will undoubtedly be a highly sought-after puma apprentice to the nations top cougars such as this one in a few years. Thank you, Dolores.

And thank you to other fine folks who gave gifts and bought me drinks. Just this Saturday I received a thoughtful gift from my friend Joe who mailed a sealed copy of Hustler's Barely Legal issue, complete with a complimentary dvd. That's just super. Joe, thanks for giving me such a useful gift -- it's like a Leatherman Tool for your Johnson.