Roar restoration progress report, week 3

Ouch. There is no reason to bring up too many details about the Lions thrashing yesterday, we all saw it. And by "we all", I mean "some of us". The only relief for me is that I did not decide to travel from DC to Philly to watch it in person, probably shelling out $100+ on a ticket for the privilege. That, and the Lions' next opponent looks like it might be t he worst in the NFC North. Sure, the Bears had a great defense last year, but this year they have Adam Archuleta starting. As bad as the Lions were yesterday, things are still looking pretty good for them to get to the six win mark I predicted, and possibly get to eight. Here is a short recap of the first three and a look ahead to the next three:

Week 1: @ Oakland

Predicted: Loss
Result: WIN

Playing Josh McCown and the Raiders in week 1 gave the Lions and their fans far too much confidence in the team. They started to fall apart, but pulled it together and closed out the game in a strong way that fans of the Lions are not accustomed to seeing. The Lions offense looked explosive.

Week 2: MINNESOTA

Predicted: Win
Result: Win

It wasn't always pretty, but when your quarterback can interact directly with the supernatural being he worships, The Great Deconcusser, you're going to end up with a win sometimes. The Great Deconcusser, who nonbelievers may have mistook for a common flashlight, applied healing goodness to the Lions quarterback by what nonbelievers may have mistook for just the light from a flashlight shone into his eyes to check for signs of trouble in the head of the not especially cerebral quarterback. Minnesota is not a good team, so it was encouraging to see the Lions beat someone at home in a game in which they were favored.

Week 3: @ Philadelphia

Predicted: Loss
Result: Loss

When Kitna predicted that the Lions would win 11+ games, I went through the schedule looking for games that the Lions would probably lose. I found eleven games. This was one of them. I had this to say: "The Lions will lose this football game, or I will lose the deed to my home." I got that one.

Week 4: CHICAGO

Prediction: Win

This is crazy, I know, predicting a win after the 56-21 loss to the Eagles, but here are some facts about the Bears:

- Theie offense is awful. It's nowhere near as good as the Raiders offense*, and probably is somewhere close to Minnesota's. Is it as bad as the Lions' defense? Oof...maybe not that bad, but it's not far from it.

- Their defense is good, but it did still give up 34 points this past week, so it's not great. TO and Jason Witten showed that they cannot cover a big receiver. They start Adam Archuleta, and he specializes in getting abused every single play in some way. Here is what the Lions offensive game plan should be: send Roy Williams (or alternate Roy and Calvin Johnson, if he's healthy) directly at Adam Archuleta every single play and throw the ball there. Don't even try to get open, just go directly at Archuleta, make the catch over his head, push him out of the way, and run to the end zone if you can. Every play.

Bottom line: Other teams with terrible offenses and good defenses are 0-2 against the Lions this year. With this game in Detroit, I think they can go to 3-1. But it is the Lions, so it won't be a big surprise if they lose.


Week 5: @ Washington

Prediction: Loss

The Battleship and I are going to this game, which should be fun, but I give the Lions very little chance to stay in this game. Despite collapsing like the Marlboro man in a marathon yesterday, the Redskins look like a completely mediocre team, which means they will thoroughly crush the Lions at their large home in Landover, MD. Jason Campbell clearly is going to be the good NFL quarterback I thought he would be, they have good receivers, two good backs, and a decent defense that does not include Adam Archuleta this year. They do have one of the worst coaches in the NFL right now, so if the Lions can stay in the game, chances are good that Gibbs will fuck it up at the end. But that's if the Lions can stay in the game.

Week 6: BYE

Prediction: Lots and lots of fun times not watching the Lions!

*Correction: the Raiders offense is not significantly better than that of the Bears.