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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Your urges are our kicks



Dear Restless Leg Syndrome sufferer,

What's shaking? Your friends at the Las Vegas board of tourism want to offer our warmest greetings to you and yours. There's nothing that brings us more joy than staying in touch with our extended family, which I can assure that you are a part of, brother/sister. There would be nothing that would make us happier than to have you come visit us, which is why we are so excited to offer you a FREE place to stay while you're vacationing in our little town in Clark County, NV.

Your friends at the Vegas board of tourism and Mirapex have teamed up to create the ultimate Vegas experience, exclusively for RLS sufferers. When you come to stay at Apex, the strip's hottest new gaming resort, you will be pampered to the fullest extent allowed by law, and beyond. The expertly trained staff has one core objective with respect to our guests: to enable. At Apex, every desire will be fulfilled. We will make sure every one of your whims will be carried out. Some of the features that will appeal to you:

- 24-hour pharmacy service with complimentary Mirapex to make sure you get the treatment you deserve
- Staff of doctors on site for Miraxapex dosage evaluation. The doctors are thorough and you will receive no bill.
- Complimentary shuttle bus, equipped with exercise bikes for your convenience and comfort, leaving every thirty minutes to The Bunny Ranch
- Gaming area designed especially for our RLS friends, with wide-stance enabled gaming tables, complete with foam kick boards by your feet for getting through those tough hands.
- two complimentary cocktail coupons at Urge, the fabulous nightclub at Apex
- on site Ferrari rental

Getting excited? We thought so! We here at the Las Vegas board of tourism understand what it's like to have that creepy-crawly, burning sensation that you are so familiar with in your legs at night. Many of us have the same feeling in our genitals while urinating. That's the whole idea behind Apex. We want you to feel comfortable while you walk out all of your impulses. So what are you waiting for? Come stay for free at Apex, because in Vegas, the rest of you will have your restless legs just trying to keep up!

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1 Comments:

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Dolores said…

    AC - I highly recommend that you NEVER take Mirapex. You might as well start telling doctors you're allergic to it... The allergic reaction being you losing your house.

     

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