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Sunday, October 19, 2008

How do you want to lose this week?

Ok all affinity I may have had for those in the big 12 who rage against the dying of the cover (yes, I hate to say it, you 2nd least favorite team) died yesterday with Oklahoma letting in that late Kansas touchdown. The moral of the story: The visor (long the headgear of choice for Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops), is basically a figurative and literal signification of a reluctance to cover. Why do I have this odd visual of that Kansas coach screaming "Do you see what happens Danny! Do you! This is what happens when you f*ck a stranger in the ass!" Speaking of signifying, how bout those Spartans? Could anything have typified Michigan State football better than that game yesterday? I guess if there's one winner here, its that forlorn lot of people who are MSU and Lions season ticket holders. They are spared from dragging their forlorn hides to Ford Field today. Knowing their luck, probably Stanton would have gotten a surprise start to put the capper on it all.

Titans v KC (+9)
Lotta points for a home dog there, but I see TN covering....perhaps in the first half and never looking back

SD @ BUF (-1)
I like the Bills. A lot. I really hope they win. I basically have no rooting interest in the NFL anymore so I basically like any team one of my non-Lions fan friends like so I can vicariously claim some other team as 'mine'. If the Lions want to use any part of that statement in any promotional materials, they have my consent.

PIT @ CIN (-9.5)
See above.

IND @ GB (+1.5)
See an aside, Id think that the ethnic composition of these towns designates this game is the von Lucshan game of the week (Sorry Vikings, but you're playing the Bears).

Now that Im done being a homer for my favoritest teams....

BAL @ MIA (-3)
I think Miami isnt as bad as everyone assumed them to be. Baltimore, however, is far crappier than we already know.

DAL @ STL (+7)
Medical technology is really something these days. Tony Romo went from out for 4 weeks to playing in this quasi-exhibition game in the space of four days. I guess they must have stem cell research going on down there. Incidentally, why did Brett Farve find it necessary to encourage Romo to play personally? Maybe somebody else thinks this is a good bet too. I guess those $10 co-pays can add up.

MIN @ CHI (-3)
I guess its time to give some lip service to Minnesota's great run defense and how Chicago cant pass and blah blah blah. God I hate the NFC North.

NO @ CAR (-3)
I guess Shockey's back and Colston too. About time you invalid MFs. Still it wont help, or get your correspondent any fantasy points.

SF @ NYG (-10.5)
I think the Giants are having flashbacks to that game they should have lost to the Lions last year. This was the driving force behind their crapping out last week, and they will not cover against yet another bad team this week. Serves me right for betting on them on Monday.

DET @ HOU (-9.5)
In richer times, we could have said something cute like "guess who's the expansion team?" Not anymore, they're a heavy favorite and deserve more points than this. Id go so far as to call this a lock.

NYJ @ OAK (+3)
I think that probably the Jets will cover here, but I wouldnt recommend betting on this game as you'll then feel inclined to watch it.

CLE @ WAS (-7.5)
Was that Monday night game a fluke? Probably, and thats why you shouldn't listen to me.

SEA @ TB (-10.5)
What do Joe Tiller and Mike Holmgren have in common? They're both owed a lot of back child support by Wilfred Brimley, you're probably thinking. Maybe. But mostly, they just really wish they could use a DVR on their coaching careers right now as this is prime fast-forward material.

DEN @ NE (-3)
Boy did MNF ever come up snake-eyes on this one.


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