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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Happy Birthday to me!!

As the Chief said, he and I share the same birthday. Unlike the Chief, I was able to partake of the alcoholic beverages to celebrate the start of my 33rd year. You will be happy to hear that I consumed alcohol with the fervor and foresight of a 22 year old. Bad decisions were made. I felt I owed it to the Chief to have double the number of drinks that I had planned to make up for his inability to imbibe. I did not receive any meat, however. I guess you win some and you lose some.

Since I am in a scholastic program with people as young as 23, I am constantly barraged by 'old man' comments. This is something that happens regularly throughout the year, but certainly sees an increase in frequency around my birthday. It never really bothers me, other than when I make pop culture references (ie Homey the Clown, Kathy Ireland, Spies Like Us, or Air Supply) and they look at me like I am suffering from Alzheimer's. These kids today, so busy with their facebooks. No knowledge of the struggles that we went through. Wearing condoms. Masturbating to porn on the VCR, or even in a magazine. Having to 'page' your drug dealer and wait for him to call back.

What do you mean 'Who am I?'

Well, those days are long since passed. No one has worn a condom in 10 years. The internet has been to masturbators what the wheel was to transportation, and cell phones have made the acquisition of drugs all the easier. Every once in a while I find myself reminiscing about the good old days. These kids will never understand.

On to the picks:

Chiefs (+6) @ Falcons

I know the Chiefs stink, but so do the Falcons. Atlanta has no business as a 6 point favorite against anyone.

Raiders (+9.5) @ Bills

I am pretty sure that Buffalo is going to win this game, but 9.5 is too many points for a Trent Edwards led team to be favored. The Raiders looked OK against the Chiefs, and you have to look out for a 'rally to save Lane Kiffin' run from them.

Titans (-4.5) VS Texans

If this game had been played last week, Tennessee would be favored by 7 at least. For whatever reason, Houston is getting some respect as a decent team. I think it is only because there has not been a large enough sample size of their shittiness.

Giants (-13) VS Bungles
Giants are decent, the Bengals are terrible.

Cardinals (+3) @ Redskins
I might have mentioned previously that I hate the Redskins. I hope they burn in hell. This may, however, be the game where the Cards show the kind of moxy that has long been a staple of their franchise.

Patriots (-12.5) VS Dolphins
This may be Chad Pennington's last game as an NFL starter. Gamblers everywhere are crying. Get in on the action while you still have a chance.

Bears (-3) VS Bucs
Both teams have no offense. Both teams have decent defenses. I think the Bears D is a little better than the Bucs, and the Bears O may be slightly less shitty than the Bucs, who will be without Joey Galloway.

Panthers (+3) @ Vikings
How a Gus Ferrotte led team is a favorite I will never understand. Especially against a team that is 2-0 and is getting their best offensive weapon back.

Seahawks (-9.5) VS Rams
I have nothing to say about this game so... Sarah Palin claimed that one of her big 'changes' when she gets to Washington will be to make the federal checkbook open to the public. Of course, Barack Obama pushed that bill through 2 years ago. Way to go Sarah.

49ers (-5) VS Lions
JT O'Sullivan and Mike Martz will finally get a chance to show Matt Millen what they could have done if there was any talent around them. This will be a bloodbath.

Broncos (-5.5) VS Saints
I was a little unsure as to which way to go in this game. I will take the Broncos at home in a shootout. The Saints D is terrible. The Broncos D is only very bad.

Steelers (+3) @ Eagles
The Steelers may be the best team in football. The Eagles played over their heads against a division rival on Monday night. Look for them to come back to earth.

Colts (-4.5) VS Jaguars
Ordinarily the Jags play the Colts pretty tough. This season, the Jags have no Oline and are in big, big trouble.

Ravens (-3) VS Browns
We want Brady. We want Brady.

Cowboys (-3) @ Packers
The Packers are better than anyone thought, but the Cowboys are just too good. GB has played 2 teams without a win, and has looked good. I think they are still not in the same class as Dallas.

Jets (+8.5) @ Chargers
Norv Turner. All that needs to be said.

Last Week-10-4-1
Season- 10-4-1


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