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Friday, September 19, 2008

How you like the meat flavor?


Dr Blackstones and I have some big things in common. We both went to the same school, he moved into my old room in a group house while area lawmen were there to see about a boy named me, we both like sports, women, drinking, and gambling. We share the same birthday, which was yesterday. Unlike the doctor, I'm not able to drink, so I was forced to turn 31 without the option of getting drunk enough to feel like a younger man. Being sober on your 30+th birthday is a sobering experience. But it wasn't so bad thanks to my friends and family knowing how much I like meat.

1) A San Franciscan named Joe sent me a delicious 3-pack of dry-cured pork from the famous Boccalone. I'm embarassed to say that there was period of many years in my life when I did not eat a single pork product other than sausages. Not going to go into the reasons today. The important thing is that I overcame my problem, and I have to thank the Battleship for helping bring me back to the good side. I hope sometime the Battleship writes about his love for bacon. It is inspiring. But that Boccalone dry-cured pork, I tell you h-what, is the most delicious meat snack I've ever had. There is something special about it, the whole super thin slicing you do, the holding it up to the sunlight in the window to admire its translucent nature...I couldn't stop thinking about the flavor for hours afterwards.

2) My friends John and this-site-author Dolores treated me to a birthday dinner consisting of my favorite burger in town, the "one-eye" at Stoney's, my one allowed beer per day, and some delicious desserts, which any sober alcoholic understands is a key finish to any dinner. Why is it called "one-eye"? It's got a nice fried egg on top of the cheese on top of the beef.

3) Ring, ring, ring, says Mr. Phone. "Buzz" says Mr. Phone's display. "UPS", says voice. "9" presses Mr Birthday Boyee. I put some pants and shirt on and hustle downstairs to find two large styraphoam boxes from Omaha Steaks. Just like last year, I was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a freezer full of fine steaks and related animal and complimentary products, and a knife set for good measure. Just to let me know how badass the order was. The knife set, like a dessert at the end of a sober alcoholic's dinner, is the end punctuation mark. "Period, motherfucker", it says. "Comma, you big asshole" or "semi-colon, bitch" doesn't have the same effect. So cheers to my brother and sister-in-law for knowing what makes me happy and keeps my innards busy.

Another thing Doc B and I have in comon is our picks record of 10-4-and 1 ATS after last week. That whining about my brokeness last week? Gone. Fat virtual pockets over here. Lots to invest with this week. We're settling into the meat of the NFL season, so grab a fork and take a bite of these juicy morcels.

Chiefs (+210) at Falcons, Raiders (+380) at Buffalo, Texans (+170) at Titans. Between one and three of these teams is going to win, I just know it! For record purposes, I like them all to cover.

Over 41.5 in Bengals at Giants. Bengals will put up at least 17 and the Giants could put up 40+ on the hapless Bengals defense.

Redskins (-3), Pats (-12.5), Bears (-3), Panthers (+3), Rams (+9.5), Lions (+4), Broncos (-5.5), Eagles (-3.5), Jags (+5.5), Browns (+2), Cowboys (-3), Jets (+8.5).
Why? Because it feels so good! Unghhh.

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