Finally A Thanksgiving Without the Lions



Sometime in September my brother and his wife came up with an ingenious plan to save a bunch of money on Thanksgiving flights to the folks' place in Florida: move the whole thing up a week. Why do this? South Florida is a popular destination around the holidays, causing plane ticket prices to go through the roof, if there are any tickets left for purchase at all. I simply would not have gone any other way. The Pittsburgh Steelers and Louisville Cardinals were certainly worth a lot of my money, but no way was my family! Some Thanksgiving purists think this is sacrilege, but to them I extend my left arm and middle finger from my fist. At the end of the year I'll be able to say that my immediate family gorged ourselves on turkey and other tasty items like mashed potatoes and gravy together in November and gave sky points for all the great success we've had while all the time keeping it real, which is all that's important in the end anyway. "Oh, but what about watching football on Thanksgiving? Won't you miss eating turkey and watching the Lions?" Ha! That sounds great and all, but what sounds greater is watching the Lions unshowered and alone in my apartment with the heat off and nothing to warm me up other than a bottle of Wild Irish Rose.

I'll pick up a turkey pot pie from Safeway and some festive holiday cookies and light some candles to make it real special. That's the kind of atmosphere that best compliments a Lions game and the stupid Phil Simms iron award or whatever the hell the Fox turkey robot is be presented to some confused player that just wants to get home, eat turkey with his family, and fuck the shit out of the meatless carcass after dinner. When I booked my flight I wanted to get back to play in my soccer game on Sunday the 19th, so I chose my return flight to be the day before. I wanted to fly back that Sunday morning but it was going to be an extra $100, and I was thinking that the whole idea was to keep this trip cheap or not do it at all.

I realized fifteen minutes after I booked the flight without the trip change protection, or whatever it's called, that I had made a terrible mistake.
Estimated time of arrival to DC: 4:13 PM.
Exact start time of Michigan Ohio State Game: 3:30 PM.
FUCK! For a month or so I thought this through. I would just set my DVD recorder and take a cab straight home from the airport and catch up. Hopefully I would only be missing part of the first quarter...wait, no--I came to my senses and realized that at best I would be home at 4:45, which would mean turning on the game, THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME IN MY LIFETIME, at halftime or the very end of the first half. Recording it wouldn't help me catch up from the beginning anyway without missing a later part of the game during playback. And if the flight was delayed I would go on a rampage and get shot by the pilot. But was seeing the entire game worth hundreds more dollars? It took me until this past weekend to realize that the answer is yes. I have wasted so much money on so many stupid things in my life that not seeing this game in its entirety because of $250 could haunt me for the rest of my life. I can't imagine being in a plane or a cab while all the other Michigan fans out there are watching Shawn Crable or Lamar Woodley or David Harris or Prescott Burgess or Alan Branch or anyone else on our defense crush that elusive bastard, Troy Smith.

I found a flight that should get me back by 2PM on Sunday, which should give me time to get to the soccer game and allow me to watch The Game with my family who are all big Michigan fans. It will definitely be worth the cost of the extra ticket, especially since I haven't watched a game with my mom, dad, and brother together since high school. That's the kind of loud, drunken, flatulent atmosphere that I'll really be thankful for.