I am so sick of this. I've had a really long day. I've been at attention for so fucking long and I just want to explode into some Kleenex and return to my flaccid state. If I have to pound the fuck out of another vagina, I'm going to puke. Whose fucking cock was I in my previous incarnation to deserve this constant hard labor? FDR's? Pope John Paul II's? I must have had it really nice and easy, that's for sure. While most guys' brains occasionally think about baseball, their car, their bank account, or their job, all this guy thinks about is bitchfucking. Bitchfucking is his job, for crying out loud. And not only did I get roped into the monster cock sector of the porn industry as a cock, I had to come in as a white monster cock.
There's just not that many white monster cocks in the monster cock sector, so we have to do a little bit extra.
I mean, most of my black counterparts are worked extremely hard and all, but the directors of the black male professional fornicators with whom they are associated don't make them push my brother johnsons around with the same kind of vigor that I am subjected to, day-by-day, orifice-by-orifice. The cursed director just doesn't seem to think that it's enough to have a white monster cock, even if it's the same size and shape of a darker complected ram-rod. I don't know what it is, maybe a pale pink poker doesn't show up with the same kind of hugeness on film, but I'll promise you this: the expressions of extreme pain on the face of the people whose holes I enter -- those, my friend, are real. Real like Madrid, baby.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with the big black cocks that are in this business. They do a great job. Some of my best friends are black monster cocks. I had a poster in my underpants growing up of John Holmes' freakishly large sexual organ. I wanted to grow up to be just like it. I swear, maybe it's just me, but when I am pulled out for that money shot during a shoot and I look around the set and see my colleagues all around me getting rubbed off for the group facial on the barely legal white girl, I don't even notice the pigmentation on their skin. I don't see them as black monster cocks. I just see them as friends.
But they don't get criticized like we white monster cocks do. They don't.
I go out there and fill up a starlet like she'll never be again until giving birth (or since giving birth), leaving a wide gaping hole that will take several hours to go back to normal, and they say "Ah, he could have have been shinier, he could have been stiffer..."
Maybe one day it will all change. Maybe one day, horny young men and women will type "white monster cocks" into Google just as often as "black monster cocks". But for now, I'm going to have to just keep on plowing through the assholes, mouthes, and vaginas of hot young girls like the Eagles went through the Lions' defense Sunday afternoon, going that extra inch, inspiring one masturbater at a time, bearing the white monster cocks burden.
(Inspired by Donovan McNabb, and the Kevin Curtis piece at KSK )